Sorry, it wasn’t THAT historic of a day

This morning was Barack Obama was inaugurated of the 44th president of the United States.  Congratulations, now it’s time to get to work. 

Of course, I had to laugh at what my 4-year old daughter Anika had to say when Obama stepped up to take the oath of office.  Looking completely stunned, fixated on the television, completely frozen:

“Mom!  But…Dr. Martin Luther King is supposed to be DEAD!!!”

Ooops, not bad for a 4-year old, but kind of hilarious in it’s own way.

To put this in context, you have to remember that January 18th is MLK Day in the US.  Kids usually get a day off of school, and the week before there is usually a history lesson about the civil rights leader.  In her pre-school, they taught lessons about why he was important, how he stood up on front of millions of people, and gave a speech…  so you can see where this went.

Sorry honey, it isn’t THAT historic of a day.  Just a new President.

(why is this blog-worthy?  Heck, I don’t know…it’s probably not.  But I laugh when I think about it, which is about where my internal “do I publish” bar is located)

When Good Glow-Sticks Go Bad

On the 4th of July, we all went out to Gasworks Park to sit with 10,000 or so of our closest friends.  This was the 2nd year that I’ve been out there, and that’s about the right interval for the deep-fried, sugar sprinkled, strawberry smothered yummy goodness. 

Heading home around midnight, just as we started across the 520 floating bridge back to “the Eastside” (I live in the city of Redmond), Anika, my 4-year old daughter let’s out this blood-curdling scream, starts holding her left eye, and alternating between screaming “it hurts!!” and “ouchey!!!”

Trying to figure out what the hell just happened – 5 minutes prior I had looked back and she was asleep in her booster seat – when we notice that one of those light-up light stick type glow necklaces had broken, and was all over her hands, shirt, etc…  she had rubbed her eyes in her sleep.

Divert to Overlake hospital ER. 

Into the emergency room – quick explanation and the ER doctor walks out to call poison control to find out what to do.  Record time, back into the room, holding a syringe, and a single-serve half&half capsule.  This is when we find out, that according to poison control:

• The contents of glow-sticks, and that when you that stuff in your eyes, it feels very close to pepper spray (Yup, that was consistent with the reaction)
• To neutralize and flush it – spray some half & half or whole milk, in the eye (WOW!  Was she serious?  Yeah)

At this point, the tears from crying had actually cleared much of it away, and we were down to a medium whimper.  So as she’s peeling back to the cover on the half & half capsule – she’s describing how this is the first time in 12 years that she had to go down to the cafeteria to get “the medicine” for an ER patient.  In fact, then 2 nurses came by, one holding a half-gallon jug, and the other with a pint-size whole milk container.  She had also sent them off “on a mission” to find something to spray in this kids eye!

Hurray! A little milk in the eye.  A few more tears.  Lots of snuggles.  And we’re loading back up into the truck to head home and try to get some sleep.

Fast forward…ummm…what, about 14 days or so? To this afternoon.  I’m checking the mail, and Overlake hospital has sent a copy of the charges which they are billing to my insurance company for our visit (thank goodness for medical insurance):

• Emergency Room Visit – 491.73
• Pharmacy (Other) – 9.66

WHOA! Wait a minute!  They are charging 9.66 in the ER for the half & half?  Ok sure, I bet the cost of the syringe to do said squirting was in there as well…but seriously!  This is the stuff that they were giving away for free down in the cafeteria!  WTF Mate!?!

Well – just further validation that this countries medical system is in complete disarray, and is likely beyond salvation. 

Time to Rescue a Damsel in Distress – 8 minutes, 45 seconds

The tools:

One pair of regular scissors

One folding pocket knife

4 years of college education in mechanical engineering

The Challenge:

Remove Princess Annika Barbie and her magic pegasus light-up wand from the plastic packaging

The Procedure:

Began by first carefully cutting away the “sealed” edge of the packaging, allowing me to remove the back panel of protective plastic and lift the entire interior assembly from the front plastic.

Next, seperate the 2 halves of cardboard, revealing the ridiculously complex series of wires, plastic, and string inside which are used to hold the doll and magic wand perfectly in place.

Focusing on removal of the magic wand:  Carefully pull the wand away from the cardboard.  Attempt to slide knife in between, carefully cutting away the plastic tabs holding the upper portion of the wand in front of the critical “press here” opening (it lights up).  Small slip-up, knick index finger of left hand…not bleeding that bad.  Lift wand out of it’s cardboard prison.

hmmm…that was easy….too easy…

Looking again at the back, her arms are held in position by plastic coated wires.  Prior experience with this has shown that these wires are impossible to cut.  Best to spend several minutes peeling the ends of the wires away from where they have been taped to the cardboard, untwisting them, and pulling the arms free from their steely bounds.

Next, comes the hair – How did they get her hair to stay like that?  Using carefully color matched thread, they have SEWN her hair to the cardboard, using a piece of plastic to hold it in place.  Fortunately a quick tug on the plastic and the thread undoes itself – ahhh, you Mattel packaging demons are pretty slick! 

But the first attempt to pull her head away from the cardboard fails as I realize that they used those same little plastic pieces that stores use to attach price tags to clothes – to hold her head in place!  Argh…  snip, snip – head is free.

Oh but wait, there are three more of these, running down her back, making sure that no matter what manner of shaking occurs during shipping, her beautiful dress remains in perfect position.

Lifting her straight up, removing her feet from the holes in the cardboard “box” structure at the bottom

AND PRINCESS ANNIKA IS FREE!

just under nine minutes, no stitches, and only a little bit of blood.  Now, where’d I park my white horse again?

-

Where clouds are kept…

“Look daddy, the sky is opening up to let the clouds out!”

That’s what Anika (my 3yo) said this afternoon, on a beautifully clear and sunny (if a little cold) Seattle day as she looked up at the contrail left by a high flying jet.

If a little is good…

Then a whole lot must be a whole lot better! 

At least that must have been Anika’s theory on toilet paper this morning.  oops.